Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Things I enjoyed (and didn't!) in 2025

It’s that time again. A new year is dawning, so it’s time for me to write about what was good and what was bad.

The Year of Luigi 12, otherwise known as 2025, had me experiencing some changes. Some positive. Most positive, actually. Some very mid! It’s important to acknowledge that some things are indeed trash, even when things are also good.

I made a relatively large career change. Instead of implementing enterprise software in the education sector, I sold enterprise software to the education sector. That might not sound big, but believe me, it was. It is!

Life in the technology sector is different to life in the public side of the education sector. One example is that it pays more. Another is that it has forced me to engage with something I had, until 2025, decided not to engage with.

That thing is Artificial Intelligence.

Let me state for the record that I think Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning have some positive applications: medical diagnosis (detecting cancers), and, selfishly, responding to tenders. Despite its devastating environmental impacts, there are some redeeming features to the literal hive mind.

AI should not, however, under any circumstances, be used for any kind of creative endeavour. There are exceptions that prove the rule (google Spalexma, for example), but if you’re using AI to create art, it’s a bad idea and you should feel bad for thinking it. 

Even something as routine as writing an email can have some creative element to it. For some, your written voice can contain multitudes in terms of interpretations as to where your head is at. Getting ChatGPT or Gemini to write an email on your behalf can’t be saving THAT much time. You’re still prompting it. Just write the fucking thing.


'AI shaming' by Mattie Lubchansky

AI aside, 2025 is the year your 41 year old boy stepped out. I travelled more in the last 12 months than I have in my entire life. And I loved it! I loved seeing some parts of the world I said I would never go to. And I’d go again! I also learned that I don’t mind travelling solo. In most cases, I actively enjoyed it. I am not the absolute Mr Bean-tier fuck up I’d imagined myself to be for most of my life. I can do it. You can too!

Things I liked 

Manga

In 2024 I started reading some mainstays of the medium (Dragonball, One Piece), and one year on I’m well and truly manga-pilled. I’ve tried multiple genres, from Shonen to Tsundere to fucked up family dramas and I love it all. Even the bad ones. This obsession hasn’t pushed me into anime as yet, but it’s not out of the realms of possibility for a Japanophile to get obsessed with anime. Time will tell.

Recommended reads: Frieren; Ghost in the Shell: The Human Algorithm; Manhole; Lone Wolf and Cub; Ranma 1/2.

Deleting socials

This came a little too late, but it’s amazing how something as simple as deleting the Instagram app off my phone freed up my brain to read more manga (and curb my despairing at the state of the world). Not long after that, I deactivated my Twitter account as it’s become more and more depraved since Elon Musk acquired it. (Link: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2026/jan/02/elon-musk-grok-ai-children-photos)

As much as I loved sharing memes with my friends, the way Instagram Reels in particular had zeroed on what I subconsciously wanted (needed?) to see made me feel somehow more alienated than I normally feel. I’ll reinstall it every now and then to check in on the World According to My Algorithm, but every now and then I will bid farewell!

The Triumphant Broncos

In 2024 I fell out of love with Rugby League. Last year, that fire got put back in my belly. Sure, a premiership win helps with that, but it was the prolific season rescue post-Origin that made my heart sing. It will be hard to forget the first round finals win against Canberra, but winning the big dance comes a close second in terms of Champagne Rugby (League).

Looking back(log)

While I did play a few new games last year (and genuinely enjoyed them!), I had the most fun going back to games I’d left in the backlog. Hollow Knight was truly fantastic (especially after cutting my teeth on the brutally-difficult sequel, Silksong). 

Burning the platform

Looking back at where I was, mentally, in 2023, I needed a big change. Changing organisations didn’t do the trick in the following year: I had to change discipline, sectors even! While I do feel a certain, continuing internal conflict working through the contradictions of the tech sector, it has afforded me some fantastic opportunities I am truly thankful for. 

'From my generation to yours' at Suntec Singapore

What I didn’t like

Depression X Anxiety (Guilt for Palestine) 

2025 is the year where My Mental Health Journey took a prolonged detour. Please take this as your trigger warning for the remainder of this rant: I felt some bad things this year. 

For one, my continued despair at the Western World’s inaction, and, in some cases, action towards the genocide in Gaza continued to create untold levels of misery. I am of the steadfast belief that once there are more eyes on the ground in Gaza, the more readily apparent it will be that the rogue state of Israel's genocide of Palestinians is the greatest humanitarian catastrophe since the Holocaust. That belief and related feeling of hopelessness led me to fall even further down the Well of Despair. As I said last year, my first waking thoughts are with Palestine and her people, much like my final thoughts as I lay down to rest. Attending some record-breaking protests did help lift my heart, but the 24 hour news cycle would push it back down soon after.

Realising that I was at a breaking point, I also had another go at therapy. I’m not sure it will take me where I want to go, but it is making me feel better for now. Sometimes you just need to get it all out there, with the only following prompt being ‘and how did that make you feel?’ I don’t need advice for processing a live-streamed genocide. I just need someone to listen to how that is absolutely ham stringing my brain.

Once again, it came late for me, but I strongly recommend reading Pefect Victims and the Politics of Appeal by Mohammed El-Kurd. It has helped me process my feelings and this writing is an output born from that. Don't feel guilt, "it is an unproductive sentiment; it does not start revolutions," (p183). We must instead "reject our complicity in this bloodshed and our inertia when confronted with all of that blood," (p190).  


Cover art: 'The fall has fallen, and you rise' by Maisara Baroud

The politicisation of tragedy

I was horrified by the mass shooting in Bondi for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, the shocking killing of  civilians at a community event. Then I thought ‘how was someone that was known to federal intelligence infrastructure able to get access to multiple guns?’ and all the other questions that follow that (the killers’ visit to a farm for target practice and the mystery trip to the Phillipines seemingly failed to register a blip with authorities until after the attack took place). 

Rather than reflect on the failures of the surveillance state that had been further bolstered to breach our privacy since the Lindt Cafe siege, the media has been calling for a Royal Commission into the event on a seemingly daily basis. It’s rare that I agree with the prime minister, but surely the looking glass must be cast on our surveillance regime and their unmitigated failure. Apparently not.

Now, athletes, politicians and business people who had been unwilling to raise the alarm over the genocide in Gaza are calling for a Royal Commission. I’m not sure I understand why. There have been allusions to ‘the last two years’ in a lot of commentary about the need for a royal commission. The inference that the longest running and peaceful protest movement for Palestine is in any way related to what happened is insulting at best, and at worst, I dare not predict. As if to preempt my concerns that I may be projecting when I was writing this, Federal Opposition Leader, Sussan Ley has gone on to say the commission needs to address the 'far left' which she also lumped in with nazis. 

I am not disputing that antisemitism is on the rise: this is objectively true. But I take issue with the media’s stenography of nakedly political actors. For the latest example, see Josh Frydenberg claims that a proposed head of the now-imminent Royal Commission doesn’t have the confidence of the Jewish Community. Jewish people are not homogenous, and Frydenberg has provided no reason or evidence to back his claim that the QC in question doesn’t have the confidence of the Jewish Community (link: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2026/jan/08/australia-news-live-bluescope-stokes-extreme-weather-heatwave-bushfire-bondi-royal-commission-anthony-albanese-antisemitism-ntwnfb). 

It was only a few months ago that the government claimed that some recent antisemitic attacks are attributable to Iran (link: https://www.foreignminister.gov.au/minister/penny-wong/media-release/response-iranian-attacks), and now we have homegrown attackers. It could be that we're being attacked from abroad and within, but to me, our intelligence operators and their methods need more scrutiny. Anything else feels like politicising tragedy.

Sunday, April 6, 2025

The 10 best games on the Nintendo Switch

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, the Nintendo Switch 2 is less than 2 months away from arriving in stores. With this in mind, now feels like the time to reflect on the first machine’s 8 years of releases and name the best of them.


  1. Kirby and the Forgotten Land
I played Kirby and the Forgotten Land in a COVID fugue, and when I say I played it, I played it from beginning to end. It starts off as a soft, comfortable walk through the post apocalypse, and then it turns into one of the most brutal 3D platformers I’ve ever played. Do not sleep on this all-timer. I literally did not. 

  1. Mario Kart 8
Everybody who has played this game loves this game. It is one of the best racing games ever made. I played it a lot on the Wii U though, so that’s why it’s not ranking higher.

  1. Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age S
DQ XI S is 3 different stories that build on each other. Each story introduces depth to what, at first, appear to be very plain characters. The difficulty also increases exponentially in each new story, to the point where it feels like each of the stories are 3 different role-playing games. Staggering in its eventual scope, and unforgettable despite its awful soundtrack. Also of note, DQ XI S has THE best in-game slot machines. I could (and did) play them for days. 

  1. Fire Emblem: Three Houses
When I played Three Houses for the first time I almost fell asleep. The visuals (particularly the colour palette) were dreary and I’ve played more than a few Fire Emblems where the protagonist is a mysterious and powerful stranger. Returning to it years later (spurred on by the power of a later entry on this list) I found some truly wonderful characters and a soundtrack that is among the best in the series. I only finished 1 of the stories, but there’s so much to do in here. 

  1. Quake II
I love Quake II. I’ve loved it for many years, dating back to the first time I played it on the PlayStation. The most recent remaster of Quake II is the definitive version, and includes its iterations across expansions and less technically capable consoles. A love letter to, in my opinion, an under-appreciated classic which runs like a dream on the Switch.

  1. Super Smash Bros Ultimate
I haven’t actually played Smash Ultimate half as long as I’ve watched others play it. It is endlessly entertaining, with a low skill floor and a ceiling so high it hasn’t been fully charted years after its final balance patch. 

  1. Balatro
Everything you’ve heard about Balatro is true. It causes time to compress and disappear. It is addictive. It is an obsession. It’s also cheap and you should try it right now.

  1. Fortnite
When Fortnite was announced for the Nintendo Switch, I thought it would have to be compromised somehow. Maybe you wouldn’t be able to build forts as fast. Maybe the environments wouldn’t be as destructible as they are on higher end consoles and PC. I was amazed to find not only where there very few compromises (the graphical quality is probably it, to be honest), but it was actually the version I enjoyed the most. Hundreds of hours spent killing Star Wars characters, WWE Wrestlers, professional sportsman, and so many pop culture avatars. Not a single moment wasted.

  1. Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes
For more than 20 years, I have turned my nose up at musou games. Dynasty Warriors: boring. Hyrule Warriors: pretty, but boring. Three Hopes did something to mix that all up: it gave me characters and relationships to develop and care about. It also introduced enough different moves and mechanics to the combat to make it interesting. Crucially, it was so good that it made me go back to its narrative inspiration (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) to give it a proper college try. My save file has more than 100 hours on it. I have finished every campaign, and even had a good crack at Crushing difficulty. Finally, the music is so powerful, I can still hear the main battle theme in my head whenever I want it to. 

  1. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Breath of the Wild (BotW) is a story about failure. It presents you with the 100 year legacy of your failure, and it is still wonderful and uplifting. Despite failing, despite all of the death and destruction, there is still so much beauty in this world. It’s the first Zelda game I played from beginning to end. It’s the first Zelda game I finished more than once. It is an open world without equal.

Honourable mentions: Hades, Bayonetta 1&2, Super Mario Odyssey, Metroid: Dread, Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

Monday, March 24, 2025

Berserk (1997) and the end of the world


Content warning: violence against women, sexual violence.

I had my existential crises in my thirties. Almost as soon as I turned 40, thankfully that part of my brain was freed. Instead of asking ‘What am I here for?’ my inner monologue assures me that ‘I am’.

I am… what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t have to save the world. I don’t have to be a protagonist. I am Tristan. That’s enough.

The 1997 adaptation of Berserk’s protagonist, Guts grappling with existentialism ends in a similar place. The key difference between Guts and I, apart from his monstrous physique and his proficiency with the greatsword, however, is that I never spent time as a child solider. On a similar note, none of my closest friends were child soldiers.

With those distinctions clearly stated, it’s important to understand that Guts is me. For 25 episodes of slashing and arguing and holding a greatsword close to your crotch while you appreciate the sky, I looked at the screen and pointed and repeatedly said ‘that’s me.’

Guts starts off as a brash youth (like me), and masters the way of the sword (me). He makes friends and regularly quarrels with them (me) because he loves them and because he wants to establish his place and doesn’t quite appreciate what he thinks it is (also me). Eventually, Guts come to realise his purpose and it isn’t conquest and empire building. It’s being there with his friends to drink and be merry and care for them in times of trouble and strife.

This journey of self-realisation and actualisation is all done under the Sword of Damocles. In the opening chapters you are shown the sword and it is pointed to regularly throughout this saga. Then the thing drops, and my jaw dropped even though I knew it was going to drop.

Even though it is extremely violent and there are a few scenes depicting sexual assault, it is worth navigating the horror. The characters are fully realised and endearing, and each (with one very clear exception) reaches a satisfying conclusion, consistent with their characterisation across the entire series. Also of note, the soundtrack is beautiful. Guts’ theme is haunting and meditative. The action theme is like a Eurythmics track with powerful Japanese influence. I will think of this for decades, and I’m certain I’ll return to this world again.

The animation is patchy in terms of quality, but there were some clear highlights. Firstly, painted stills are used to emphasise moments of extreme violence and drama, and these visuals are always lush, beautiful and, in some cases, horrifying. Then there’s Guts’ sword which is both, intentionally and unintentionally, a phallic symbol with few equals. There are scenes where Guts is contemplating life and purpose, while holding this sword at his crotch while he’s sitting or lying down. Every time this happened, I though ‘Damn, Guts (me) is so deep,’ and also ‘lol.’ There are some scenes where the camera endlessly pans upwards to show the entirety of the sword. This show rocks.

If I had to describe Berserk in one word it would be, despite all preconceptions I had, beautiful. It is a beautiful story. It is brutally violent, cruel and horrifying, but the characters and the feelings they stirred in me are truly beautiful. Watch Berserk. Then play a Souls game. Then send me some Reels about dodging with a greatsword.  

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Things I enjoyed in 2024

2024 was the year I declared I was going to get silly with it. I had just been made redundant from a position I’d held for nearly 10 years: the reason I moved to Melbourne. Thinking about it a year on, unemployment is the biggest thing to happen to me since I got married. Since I graduated, I’ve been gradually rolling up the university version of the corporate ramp. Free from the daily grind of emails, Teams meetings, office politics and deadlines, I was in the privileged position to be resourced to enjoy life, and enjoy life I did.

The first 4 months of this year were, with some exceptions, the most life-affirming I’ve lived since I first made the move to Melbourne. I got to enjoy the life that Carly and I had built, without reservations. There were times where I was so happy, I cried. I cried sitting with my dog at the local cafe, because it was nice to sit with my boy and drink exactly one beer.

All good things, as they say, must come to an end and I found myself employed once again. Tristan, the professional administrator developed in the blazing forge of the Pick n’ Pay Hypermarket and 2 universities was #Opentowork, as they say on LinkedIn in. I was still working in the tertiary education sector and still working in project management, but I learned some new things. I learned a little bit about university admissions and a lot about myself.

If you asked me what I wanted to be as a kid, I don’t think I would’ve been able to answer. If you asked me what I want to be now, I still don’t really know. All I know is that my time as a project manager is done (for now, at least). 

I’ve decided I want to do work that is different to what I’ve done for the last 15 years, and I’ve got something lined up for this year. It will push me out of my comfort zone. That is terrifying. That is good.

As for what I’ve enjoyed in 2024, there hasn’t been a whole heap of change from what I enjoyed last year. Still, let me walk you through my garden of fun things.

Japan

Just before we were due to leave for Japan in February, we had a medical emergency in the family. Thankfully, it all ended relatively well, but it meant that our trip to Japan (which had already been delayed from 2020) was pushed back again. It was getting to the point where I thought I'd never step foot in the country I've been fascinated with since my early youth. 

I am normally a very anxious traveller. When I actually stepped off the plane and was greeted by pictures of Pikachu and Major Motoko Kusanagi (who informed me of the legal drinking age in Japan), I felt like I was in a spiritual home. I was comfortable. I was at peace. Even with a train trip to our first hotel which required a few line switches, I was loving every second of it. 

To add to that sense of comfort, was the Japanese people, who were, by appearance at least, happy to guide me and my oafish manner through every social and cultural interaction I stumbled into. While we were turned away from a few restaurants that were very obviously not full, the majority of my time in Japan was characterised by an overwhelming feeling of peace, quiet and respect.

A higher than normal exchange rate also contributed to the calming nature of the trip. It was essentially 1 dollar to 100 Yen rate, meaning I didn't have to whip out the calculator to see if I was onto a bargain (9 out of 10 times, I was). I could just take two zeroes off any price. I was able to secure one of the holy grails I was seeking (a Pokemon Centre exclusive Game Boy Advance SP), and a wealth of tiny treasures that continue to bring a smile to my face. Did I spend a lot of time in Japan shopping for old video games? Yes. Would I do it again? One thousand percent, yes. On a semi-related side note, the price of food and drink in vending machines and convenience stores should radicalise most Australians. 1 dollar for a can of hot coffee. 2 dollars for a 500ml can of Strong Zero (9%, no less!).   

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the unbelievable quality of the food and drink I indulged in throughout my travels. Every day I'd say something to Carly along the lines of, 'This is the best [food or drink item] I've ever had.' After about a week of this observation, I came to the simple conclusion that food and drink is just better in Japan. 

I love Japan. Nihon wa daisuki desu. 

Gacha games

Daddy likes to gamble. I don’t like big stakes but I like to pull some tickets out of the machine. The games haven’t really changed, and the sensation is the same. That being said, there were some highlights and lowlights in the gacha scene in 2024. 

Firstly, Hoyoverse, a titan of the gacha world released their newest title, Zenless Zone Zero (ZZZ). ZZZ is such an oddity in this day and age: a 3D beat-'em-up with board game elements almost reminiscent of the PSone, Nintendo 64 and Dreamcast-era, smashed together with Hoyo's patented character development grind and seratonin-inducing gambling. For about 2 weeks I was hooked, and spent *so* *much* money trying to recruit entry-level furries to fight with (shark and wolf maids, cute little devils, the whole shebang). If my luck weren't so terrible, I might've stayed around for a bit longer; but so far I've lost almost every 50/50 gamble I've wagered on. 

Ellen Joe
Ellen Joe, the ice shark maid girl from ZZZ

For those who don't know what a 50/50 is in the context of gacha games, I'll try and explain. Every 2-4 weeks, new characters are introduced to the games via their banner. When you 'pull', you get a less than 1% chance to recruit a high-tier character. You are also guaranteed a high tier character after 80-90 pulls (depending on the game). Once you pull the high tier character, you then get a 50% chance of recruiting the new character. If you lose the 50/50, you recruit one of the standard high tier characters. That mathematics of the gamble is woeful, and it's even worse when you consider the cost of entry. Let's just say, the horrors of gacha persist, yet so do I. 

My other gacha mainstays, Nikke: Goddess of Victory and Honkai Star Rail continue to rake in huge amounts of money but have faltered when it comes to the story and actual playing of the games. Nikke made some much-needed changes to its end game, and introduced some mostly good and some fantastic mini games. At the end of the day though, the core action is very much the same despite some attempts to tweak your team's damage output. Honkai is the master of end game combat challenges (which I will continue to come back for for the foreseeable future), but the story has had some huge bumps towards the end of the year. Also concerning, the mega publisher that brings in tens of millions of dollars every month is reticent to pay its voice actors well or guarantee that they won't be replaced by artificial intelligence. Grim stuff. 

The Steam Deck

A couple of weeks before we were due to leave for Japan (as in, acutally leave for Japan), my PlayStation 5 died. Rather than replace it straight away, I opted for the portable equivalent. This then lead to a weeks-long campaign of adding more games to my Steam library which I have no hope of finding the time to play. 

The Takealookaround Toilet Feelings Station 5 is dead.

Still, the Steam Deck is a great machine. Pretty much any game one would want to play on the go with a controller layout is supported by the device. Most 'Verified' games (as in, Valve certifies they are good to go on the Deck) run like a dream, and even those that are 'Playable' perform much better than I expected. I opted for the OLED model which has a fantastic display. It also comes with a really solid case, which is the first thing you'd think to buy for a $1000 machine that travels with you. 

I'm expecting to do more travelling this year, and the Steam Deck will be coming along for the ride. 

The Princes of Persia

When I learned that The Lost Crown, the first of 2 Prince of Persia games to come out in 2024, was going to be a Metroidvania (ie. heavily influenced by Super Metroid and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, which required continuous backtracking after attaining new abilities) I resigned myself to liking it. It was easily the best Prince of Persia game I’d played since the Sands of Time on the PlayStation 2. It wasn’t the most original game, and the boss fights stunk, but the movement was just wonderful.

Then came The Rogue. 

The Rogue: Prince of Persia is, as its title suggests, a roguelike. Once you die, you start from the beginning. Each time you play you'll find new clues and items which open up new locations and abilities for your next run. I would go into a fugue when playing this game. I'd start, and then I'd only stop when my Steam Deck battery was close to dead. Also, the soundtrack whips. 

Protest

One of the few things I knew about my dad, the person (before he became a dad), was that he loved to drink and smoke and drive dangerously. He also protested against apartheid.

One of the great ironies of my life is that I worked at the supermarket which my dad picketed back in the day. Pick n’ Pay Hypermarket was a South African supermarket chain that had expanded into Australia when apartheid rule in South Africa was still very much a thing. Taking that irony even further, South Africa’s current leaders were the first to engage the international legal process to try and halt israel’s genocide in Gaza.

I have felt my heart buoyed by the constant presence of protestors in Melbourne’s CBD every Sunday. That warmth is felt all the more intensely when I stand with them.

Dad was more than just a father. He was a loose unit who cared about humanity, about people. Then he became a dad. He was less loose, and he focused that care on his three boys. I will take that love and continue to share it back with the people of Palestine and Lebanon.

Family picture

I miss my Dad. 

I do not exaggerate when I say these beautiful, graceful people are the first thing I think about when I wake, and the last thing I think about before I sleep. May we all live long enough to see a free Palestine.


Saturday, October 19, 2024

Race weekend in the genocide

Friday.

We didn’t buy tickets to practice 

The forecast said rain 

Went for a walk to Pyramid Rocks instead

The rain held off for 2 hours and we stayed dry


Dinner time.

We wait 30 minutes for a table

I read Chotiner interviewing Howard Jacobson

We’re seated and I’m angry from mental gymnastics

I gnaw lamb off the bone


Saturday.

The rain is gone but the wind persists

An IDF drone double taps a child with bombs

People tried to save the kid

Practice starts

Now they cover his corpse in a blanket


Sprint time.

Communication blackout in North Gaza

Jack Miller hits a seagull head-on

The dead bird stuck in the handlebars

Body grinding down as he accelerates and brakes


Sunday.

Sulala Animal Rescue save 2 kittens

They each lost an eye to gangrene

Alonso wins the Moto 3 race as expected 

Another record broken


Race time.

The bikes are so loud when they pass Lukey Heights

The sun finally came out today

I hope Martin extend his lead

I hope the bombing stops

Thursday, January 11, 2024

Things I enjoyed in 2023

2023 was the year small things kept me happy. Sometimes these small things helped me hold onto my sanity. These are the good, small things I enjoyed in 2023. 

Gacha games

One of the surefire soothing agents for anxiety in my experience is keeping a routine. Gacha games have been key to me establishing and maintaining a daily routine. I wake up and I clear my dailies in Goddess of Victory: Nikke. In the afternoon, I log into Honkai Star Rail (HSR) to collect my stellar jades and as many resources as my Trailblaze Power affords. 


I’m no stranger to gacha games, but I’d previously found them unrewarding. At their best, it’s like winning exactly seventy-two dollars on the pokies. At their worst, it’s the inverse of that: small stakes gambles with flashing lights and no real pay-off. My 2 favoured titles buck this trend in different ways. Nikke gifts players all kinds of valuable resources on an almost daily basis, and gives you ample opportunity to earn what is not outright given to you. HSR is far stingier, but the production values are akin to what you’d find in AAA role playing games (ie. games with huge budgets). 


How I imagine everyone looks at me when I play Nikke

I’m not proud of playing Nikke. It’s, if I’m being charitable (and slightly disingenuous), too horny. It is salacious. Problematic. Disgusting. It’s also the best 3rd person cover shooter I’ve played since Gears of War. It has asynchronous multiplayer which causes me to think about team compositions far more than I should. It has an oddly compelling and occasionally well-written campaign, which is updated every few months. The premise of Nikke’s narrative is ‘what if Ghost in the Shell was more horny?’ and I’m surprised it works as well as it does. Nikke also has various modes to test your skill and understanding of its systems, which are surprisingly deep. Nikke is the first gacha game I’ve played where I can see how people play it without spending money: players are regularly given free opportunities to recruit and upgrade units. It’s also a game played by many a whale (ie. someone who invests unbelievably-high amounts of money on in-game currency and resources). 


HSR, on the other hand, does not elicit shame. Its regularly-updated campaign doesn’t feature the raw magnetism and generosity apparent in Nikke, but it does feature beautiful visuals and fantastic voice acting. With each update that drops every 60 to 90 days, HSR also tries its hand at mechanics outside of the traditional turn-based RPG. Aethereum Wars presented me with a somewhat shallow impersonation of Pokémon. There’s ghost hunting, furniture delivery, creature breeding?! What drew me in most with HSR though is the Simulated Universe, an interesting twist on the traditional RPG dungeon. You select a path for each run and boons after each room in the dungeon as you take on increasingly-difficult encounters. Variants like Swarm Encounter and Gold and Gears introduce additional paths, more types of enemies and encounters, and some additional, at times obtuse, mechanics to master. 


Both games also feature vastly different and memorable soundtracks. Nikke’s fusion of industrial, metal, house, muzak and ballad contains many ear worms. HSR’s sweeping orchestral soundtrack is beautiful, and doesn’t tire over months of repetition. 


Play more free, horny games. They’re good!  


Birkenstocks

Since age 18, I’ve been an adherent of slides. Not thongs. Not sandals. Slides. Adidas and Nike both make comfortable products, and I probably spent 99 percent of my free time wearing slides produced by either brand. That is, of course, until the Year of Our Lord, 2023. 


A friend was wearing a pair of ugly, disgusting sandals they lovingly referred to as their ‘Birkies’. There were also a disciple of the slide in their youth. He promised me I would never go back to slides once I got my own pair. 


They were right. The slide is dead. Long live the slide. 


Lexapro and a good doctor

Please note: I am not a doctor. Please talk to a medical professional about the treatment most suitable for you. 


Last year I wrote about my troubles using Agomelatine, an anti-anxiety medication. Agomelatine did a decent job managing my anxiety, but the resulting exhaustion that came from prolonged use led to frustration, feelings of isolation and, eventually, depression. 


While I did try to live and work without anti-anxiety medication, it wasn’t long before I decided I needed regular treatment. I may have had the energy to do more, but I felt trapped by familiar feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. 


After discussing my feelings and symptoms with my doctor, I agreed to trial Lexapro. It comes with a different set of side effects to Agomelatine, but for me they’ve been much less severe and manageable. Since I started this treatment, the devil on my shoulder now has to contend with an angel. This angel is so patient. It talks the devil down from the ledge without my heart and mind racing. I like myself again, and I’m more patient with myself. 


All of this would not have been possible without the ear and advice from a good doctor. I’ve been so blessed to have a regular doctor for the first time since I lived at home with my parents. May we all be so lucky to have a considerate general practitioner in 2024, available as often as we need them, at a minimum of cost. 


Blowback

Blowback is a well-researched podcast series that examines the ‘blowback’ from various American foreign policy regimes. Each season focuses on a particular conflict, with Season 4 looking at the American presence in Afghanistan in the lead up to and aftermath of the September 11 terror attacks. 


In addition to presenting revelation after revelation, Blowback features a fantastic soundtrack composed by Brendan James, one of the show’s co-hosts. Brendan also exhibits a seemingly-burning desire to sound like a character from Metal Gear Solid (a desire I understand at a primal level). 


Fire Emblem Echoes

I’ve owned Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia for 6 years now, and only just decided to play it. Not only is this 3DS game better than the most recent iteration of the franchise that was released in 2023, Fire Emblem Engage; it also genuinely tries to do some new things with regards to mechanics (ie. the systems you interact with in the game). Some of them work, some of them don’t. 


Either way, I loved my time with Alm and Celica. Their branching campaigns introduce some truly daunting enemies (good luck if you decide to play this in Classic mode, where dead allies are permanently out of action) and absolutely fiendish maps. Brutally difficult, but great fun. 


Hell on Earth

2023 was a big year for me listening to history podcasts, and Hell on Earth was genuinely fascinating to me. A spin-off series by Matt Christman and Chris Wade from Chapo Trap House, Hell on Earth posits that the 30 Years War was the force that gave birth to modern capitalism. 


It’s comprehensive and, at times, a little hard to follow (mainly because there’s so many players with similar names!). That being said, I’m still planning to make some time to listen to it from end-to-end all over again. 


‘A monk and robot’ books

Becky Chambers' optimistic science fiction books about a tea-serving monk navigating a minor existential crisis with the help of a delightful robot are wonderful medicine to imbibe in the dark present. 


Feifei Ruan's beautiful cover for the first 'A monk and robot book'

I strongly recommend it if you find yourself wondering ‘Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my time on this planet?’ 


Classic movies

Have you seen Chinatown? You should watch it. Glengarry Glen Ross is also sick. 


Watching Glengarry Glen Ross also helped me appreciate a whole swath of references I did not appreciate were being made in basically every comedy series produced since 1992. Jack Lemon’s performance is funny and memorable. Ed Harris rules. 


I need to watch more movies, is what I’m saying. 


Blasphemous

On a whim, I downloaded Blasphemous a few weeks ago. I finished it within a week. 


For those who don’t know, Blasphemous is a Catholic-themed 2D platformer with very difficult melee combat which was released in 2019. I loved every second of my 2 playthroughs because Blasphemous is the most coherent, well-directed game I’ve played in years. There’s no bloat to this game. Even the secret areas were fun to find and play around in. 


Blasphemous also features a brilliant soundtrack. I highly recommend the Nintendo Switch port which I forgot I purchased years ago. There’s no compromises with this version: load times are just as fast and it looks just as good on the portable console. 


I did download the sequel as well, but haven’t really enjoyed my time with it. It plays like the creators are trying to stretch the systems from the original game to extend the playtime. I think I’d rather play the original again so I can discover that last 1% of the map.  


Watching sports

I spend so much time watching sports. If Carly and I are hosting you, I’ll joke that it’s all because of it being Carly’s sole passion. In truth, sport has been a constant source of joy and intrigue throughout the year. 


First, a declaration: e-sports are sports. With that in mind, I’ve watched more sports this year than any year in my life. I’m still very much into the Battle Royale first person shooter, Apex Legends, and I spend more time watching the pros play and practice than I have engaging in any other activity. The Apex Legends scene appears to be declining, with multiple organisations exiting the sport (I still can’t believe Luminosity Gaming dropped the Chivas lads), and many well-performing teams disbanding, reforming, or being dropped by their sponsors altogether. The key reason for this, in my view, is the dominance of team TSM. 


TSM have won almost every major competition since the game’s release, and have done so in increasingly spectacular fashion. The Apex Legends Global Series’ final LAN tournament of the year ended with TSM clutching up and scoring 3 straight wins to come back from the bottom of the table. The final match was so good to watch. TSM had no right to survive until the final engagement: they had a team perched directly above them, they had no cover, and still they won! I loved every minute of it. 


I’ve also spent some time watching the burgeoning womens scene, also following the TSM women's team. Janey and Sabz are as mechanically competent as any men on the scene, and I hope they continue to enjoy sponsorship and success. 


If you are interested in getting into pro Apex Legends, there are 2 streamers you should follow on Twitch. NiceWigg regularly hosts watch parties for pro scrims (ie. practice sessions) as well as minor and major tournaments. HisandHersLive are also worth a follow as they host their own womens tournament series (sponsoured by ALGS pro, Jacob ‘HisWattson’ McMillin and the aforementioned NiceWigg), as well as shoutcasting (ie. commentating) for some minor tournaments. As for players to watch, you can’t go past TSM’s Imperial Hal (he can be too intense, so maybe try his teammates Reps and Verhulst). I would also recommend following variety streamer, aceu who regularly dominates casual Apex Legends on his own. 


I also enjoyed sports that aren’t played with a keyboard and mouse. The Brisbane Broncos run to the NRL grand final was truly a joy to watch, even when they fell at the final hurdle. The Moto GP has also been compulsory viewing, with Jorge Martín almost denying Francesco Bagnaia of a second consecutive championship. I even attended my first race this year! Phillip Island on race weekend has such a calm, welcoming vibe, even when it’s raining sideways on race day.  


Patty Carrigan's first ever try was a highlight of the 2023 season

Finally, I started watching Formula 1 this year. The races themselves are boring compared to their motorcycle counterparts, but I love hearing the fancy lads over the radio. Always funny stuff.


Sunday, February 20, 2022

On catching them all


I had Pokémon Legends: Arceus pre-loaded onto my Nintendo Switch console. I was ready for release day. I'd be able to start playing the latest Pokémon game as soon as I finished work for the day. I played for about forty-five minutes and thought to myself, this is the best Pokemon game I've played in several years. I put my Switch to sleep, and I didn't play it again for 2 weeks.

Was this it? Was I finally too old to enjoy a game designed for young children? 

No! It was exhausting to, once again, read posts and articles from grown men decrying PlayStation 2 standard graphics (the disrespect!) and complaints of slow pacing, but that wasn't what put me off playing. I bounced off it because I had other jobs to complete. 

Although I had grinded out yet another season pass in Apex Legends, there was another limited-time event reward track to pick from. Destiny 2 is due for expansion once again on Tuesday, meaning a whole host of content (from weapons to activities and full-blown planetary destinations) were due to go into the Destiny Content Vault. There was work to be done. 

Life is short. Can I really be laid to rest without first earning the Splicer title? What would my family think of me if I didn't unlock the Octane skin designed for prolific Twitch streamer iiTzTimmy? Thankfully, I don't have to ponder those disappointing realities. With my partner interstate for a few weeks and a clan of obliging teammates, I achieved everything I needed to before the Tangled Shore gets the boot. 

Still, playing Apex Legends, Destiny 2, Fortnite, Rogue Company, Rainbow 6: Siege and countless other Games-as-a-Service (GaaS) titles does often feel like a second, third or fourth vocation. Each title has it's own lexicon of externally-meaningless terms, a small clutch of subject matter experts who can direct me to every item I need to find and task I need to complete. They can show me around the corners of the office (or galaxy) that I've never seen before we have to relocate, learn new tasks, and fall into new patterns.  There's no application for the hundreds and thousands of hours I've sunk into these games, other than the friends I've made along the way.

Good friends! I may not be able to ride a bike but, because I've played nearly two thousand hours' worth of the video games Destiny and Destiny 2, I have people I can depend on.

That brings me back to Pokémon. I don't think I'll ever fall into a work-like relationship with it because it's not designed that way; and thank God for that! I can put it down for 2 weeks, a month, a few years and all I'll have missed is the opportunity to complain about it earlier.